finally...
i got the chance to meet my archangel today... but before i met him, here's how i felt...
so, we went to the park, (going and from the park)... we sat down and talked about life... i really don't know what to answer when he asked me how i am... i just said i'm ok but there's something more i should've told... as we sat beside each other, i was controlling myself yet... i felt that am losing a part of me since, i wasn't my full self... i could've been so sweet towards him but i was afraid to do so... even in expressing myself, i couldn't do... there are so many things i wish i could tell him but i just stood there staring at his sweet face... i would always look at his face because i do not know when will we see each other again... i want to remember his face, his smile...
we even sung in a videoke room in the mall... i was feeling quite emotional since, i remembered him saying he would like to hear me sing in person than me singing for him over the phone... anyway, i am happy to hear him sing as well... and again, i would stare at him at times as he sings... *sigh*....
being with him today made me feel how much i missed him... it brought back bittersweet memories... as i arrived home, i sat on the bed and somehow felt sad... i got so attracted... deep inside i know how i feel... that i still feel my love for him... and everything tears me apart as i face the reality....
when we see each other again, i want to tell him how i feel... but... i feel so uncertain about it... i am afraid... i am so damn confused.... anyway, i am not expecting something in return, i just want to tell him the things i've told him before personally...
- excited!!! because finally after a looooonnngggg time am going to meet him.
- then i felt nervous... i suddenly got myself confused on how am i going to react as soon as i see him... after all that had happened between us, i don't know if i should express myself freely or not... ( i chose not to express myself too much... confusing huh?
so, we went to the park, (going and from the park)... we sat down and talked about life... i really don't know what to answer when he asked me how i am... i just said i'm ok but there's something more i should've told... as we sat beside each other, i was controlling myself yet... i felt that am losing a part of me since, i wasn't my full self... i could've been so sweet towards him but i was afraid to do so... even in expressing myself, i couldn't do... there are so many things i wish i could tell him but i just stood there staring at his sweet face... i would always look at his face because i do not know when will we see each other again... i want to remember his face, his smile...
we even sung in a videoke room in the mall... i was feeling quite emotional since, i remembered him saying he would like to hear me sing in person than me singing for him over the phone... anyway, i am happy to hear him sing as well... and again, i would stare at him at times as he sings... *sigh*....
being with him today made me feel how much i missed him... it brought back bittersweet memories... as i arrived home, i sat on the bed and somehow felt sad... i got so attracted... deep inside i know how i feel... that i still feel my love for him... and everything tears me apart as i face the reality....
when we see each other again, i want to tell him how i feel... but... i feel so uncertain about it... i am afraid... i am so damn confused.... anyway, i am not expecting something in return, i just want to tell him the things i've told him before personally...