finally...

i got the chance to meet my archangel today... but before i met him, here's how i felt...

• excited!!! because finally after a looooonnngggg time am going to meet him.
• then i felt nervous... i suddenly got myself confused on how am i going to react as soon as i see him... after all that had happened between us, i don't know if i should express myself freely or not... ( i chose not to express myself too much... confusing huh?

i was texting when i suddenly saw him aproaching me... he gave me a hug which made me close my eyes because i want to savor the moment. even if we're in a public place, i don't give a damn... it's like, the time stopped and there's just the two of us... then i get back into senses quickly and put in mind that we're only just friends now...

so, we went to the park, (going and from the park)... we sat down and talked about life... i really don't know what to answer when he asked me how i am... i just said i'm ok but there's something more i should've told... as we sat beside each other, i was controlling myself yet... i felt that am losing a part of me since, i wasn't my full self... i could've been so sweet towards him but i was afraid to do so... even in expressing myself, i couldn't do... there are so many things i wish i could tell him but i just stood there staring at his sweet face... i would always look at his face because i do not know when will we see each other again... i want to remember his face, his smile...

we even sung in a videoke room in the mall... i was feeling quite emotional since, i remembered him saying he would like to hear me sing in person than me singing for him over the phone... anyway, i am happy to hear him sing as well... and again, i would stare at him at times as he sings... *sigh*....

being with him today made me feel how much i missed him... it brought back bittersweet memories... as i arrived home, i sat on the bed and somehow felt sad... i got so attracted... deep inside i know how i feel... that i still feel my love for him... and everything tears me apart as i face the reality....

when we see each other again, i want to tell him how i feel... but... i feel so uncertain about it... i am afraid... i am so damn confused.... anyway, i am not expecting something in return, i just want to tell him the things i've told him before personally...