the 3rd day & night...

it has been a cold rainy night and day for me, for three consecutive days already... i'm such in a VERY COLD war...

actually, after all the crying and sleepless nights, i know this morning, i was already feeling okay... yet... i even feel like smiling towards my love but his cold stare would sting me like an ice....i even feel like singing but i'd look foolish since am not living on my own home... no one would make me laugh like my brothers & sisters would do... no one is around to inspire me and talk to me like my mom would... no one is there to comfort me like my dad would.... so, while the family that "adopted" me are enjoying their day, talking, playing, laughing, i just sat almost the whole day in front of my computer while my love is there, would play songs pertaining to me, would answer back not in a good way....

so yesterday he wants me to be back... well now, I'M BACK... no tears, no drama.... am ready to face whatever it is i have to face.... today, i did not get the chance to speak much.... it's like all i have is "panis na laway". and i found a song which kinda' suits me as of the moment...


Dream Without You by: MYMP


Last night, you said you love me
Last night, you said you needed me
When I woke up, I never saw your face
When I woke up, you never left a trace


And if there's nothing I can say or do
I'll sing this song, I wanna sing to you


I don't wanna dream if my dream is without you
I don't wanna sleep if my dream will only be blue
I don't wanna hear the words, I don't wanna feel your touch
All I know is that you hurt me so much


You said that we would stay together
I thought that we would be forever
I never thought we'd ever part
But now I have a broken heart


I wonder why I never understand
But I understood when I saw you then
Boy, it's been three years since we part
And all those years I never had a change of heart


I'm not asking you back, I just need a friend
All I'm asking is, let me dream again



i feel that something is drifting apart and am not really sure what it is because i might taking it wrong AGAIN so it's better not to tell too much.... but I still love my love of course... really do... and it's hard to show it since i am afraid of him lately.... afraid to talk to him or even to look at him...


above anything else, (in a serious mode...) i wish he still loves me the same way he had loved me from the very first time we met... i wish things would go back to normal because am already missing my love so much....